Holistic Bnai Mitzvah
Rites of Passage
Preparation and Ceremony
“The Holistic B-Mitzvah Method is a process of discovery that affirms and uplifts a student’s unique talents and skills to assume responsibility of caring for this world. This is a ceremony that honors the ancestors and the future generations. This ceremony combines traditional elements of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, and creatively innovates it to be a process that supports the student and family in celebrating the end of childhood, and the beginning the quest of how might “I” serve the “We”? - R’ Miriam Rubin
7 Components of a Holistic B-Mitzvah with Miriam’s Wellness
Soul-Mitzvah Year-long Journey: Our youth need guidance to navigate the challenges of modern life and modern choices. In 12 modules, students are guided through a dynamic and reflective personal growth and mitzvah centered journey of learning and growth. A nature-based solo day of meditation is included.
2. Hebrew Reading Fluency: Learn to read, recite, and chant the sacred Hebrew language with fluency and ease.
3. Chanting Your Torah Portion: Learn to Read, Speak, and Sing your birth parsha, and the prayers of the ancestors. Learn to chant with skill and certainty with traditional cantillation notation.
4. Elder’s Council: Gather the family members, mentors, counselors, aunts and uncles of the B-Mitzvah student. This council will meet at least once before the B-Mitzvah, to witness the completion of the preparation work, to help elucidate the particular gifts and skills of the youth.
5. Nature-Based Rite of Passage: The student will prepare for 1 full day alone in the woods, for contemplation, observation, and prayer that they will then come back to share about with friends and family.
6. Mitzvah Project: This is an opportunity to explore what the student is passionate about, and support them in creating a 6-month project that support’s their ability to offer in a meaningful way.
7. Ceremony: The B-Mitzvah ceremony will involve the student leading part of the service, chanting from the Torah, and sharing the messages and teachings that they learned through the B-Mitzvah experience. Our children need guidance to navigate the challenges of modern life and modern choices.
What Is the Origin of the Bat Mitzvah Ceremony?
The Bat Mitzvah is not the original initiation ritual for adolescent girls in Hebrew culture. It appears that the original ritual was lost over generations during which women’s roles in Judaism diminished—particularly alongside the rise of male rabbinic authority.
In 19th-century Europe, rabbis in progressive Jewish movements began holding Bat Mitzvah ceremonies for girls. Limited historical evidence suggests these ceremonies sometimes included the Shehecheyanu blessing and a festive meal for a group of girls celebrating together.
In 1922, Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, founder of the Reconstructionist movement, called his daughter Judith to the Torah in a New York synagogue. This is considered the first public Bat Mitzvah ceremony and was essentially an attempt to adapt the Bar Mitzvah ritual for girls.
The New Bat Mitzvah Project
A personal initiation ceremony marking the transition from girlhood to womanhood
To gift your daughter strength, inspiration, and beauty
as she enters the gateway of womanhood
An empowering personal process, accompanied and guided by Miriam Rubin
author of the book: “400 Moons: A Girls Guide to embodying her beauty and power.”
What Is “The New Bat Mitzvah Project”?
The Bat Mitzvah ceremony is a wonderful opportunity for a young girl to undergo a deep and meaningful initiation process as part of her transition from girlhood to womanhood. Like many rituals in our culture, the conventional Bat Mitzvah ceremonies have, over the years, lost much of their depth and relevance. In many cases, they have become events whose meaning exists only on a superficial level, lacking deeper significance.
The Bat Mitzvah offers a rare and genuine opportunity to create a fitting initiation for our daughters—to mark the moment when a girl enters adolescence and to emphasize the personal process of transition from girl to woman.
Becoming a woman does not happen in a single day marked by a celebration. The Bat Mitzvah signifies the beginning of this journey. By choosing to celebrate it consciously, we respond to our daughter’s natural request—to be given tools that will support her on her path into womanhood.
Throughout the process we go through together, we cultivate her ability to create a support system made up of friends, family members, and older women who influence her life. Everyone she invites to celebrate with her becomes part of this support network.
At the same time, we strengthen her ability to connect with her inner voice—so she can learn what is right for her and how to make good, grounded decisions throughout adolescence.
Through This Process You Will:
Provide your daughter with tools to support her development, and develop tools that will help you support her as well
Encourage her to connect with her inner voice, strengthening her self-trust and decision-making abilities
Help her build a personal support system that also supports you on the journey alongside her
Develop and maintain open communication among all family members
Take part in redefining the place of women in culture, and help your daughter understand what it means to be a woman today
What Happens in the “Different Bat Mitzvah” Process?
You may choose from several options to create a process that best suits you:
Family Women’s Circle
A circle of women from the girl’s family, where we work on seeing one another more clearly and listening—to ourselves and to the other women in the family.
We deepen our connection with one another through connection to ourselves, explore our influence on the Bat Mitzvah girl, and learn how we can support her life journey and serve as role models for her.
Girls’ Circle (Friends Circle)
The Bat Mitzvah girl and her friends gather in a circle to connect with themselves and with one another.
We focus on connecting to our inner voice and learning to listen to ourselves—especially when making decisions. We also emphasize building a support system among the girls, including cultivating meaningful relationships and open communication with parents and friends.
Group Process (Four Group Sessions)
Session 1 – Connecting to the Inner Voice
Our daughters grow up in a confusing world, constantly filtering overwhelming influences. In this session, we reconnect with our ability to listen to our inner voice and the requests of the heart in order to make good and accurate decisions. We learn exercises to strengthen this connection and practice them throughout the process.
Session 2 – Me and My Body
To support our daughters’ healthy entry into the gateway of womanhood, we must nurture respectful and loving relationships with the body—despite many opposing influences. In this session we examine how we view the female body and the language we use to speak about ourselves. We talk about menstruation and the magic inherent in the body.
Session 3 – Feminine Leadership
What is feminine leadership? Who is a leader? How do I lead myself? What leadership qualities did I learn from the women before me—my mother, grandmother, and women in my environment? What does it mean to be a woman today?
In this session we explore feminine leadership traits and learn how to express ourselves in ways that are natural and authentic to us. We speak about the “tribal elders” in our lives—the women who serve as role models and sources of inspiration.
Session 4 – Creating a Supportive Environment
Our daughters grow up in a world with very little intimacy. They need our support to learn how to build meaningful friendships. What makes a good friend? How do we build trust in relationships? In this session we reflect on ourselves as friends and on our ability to create circles that support us throughout the adolescent journey.
Family Process
Session 1 – Vision Meeting (approx. 1.5 hours)
A meeting with the parents and the celebrant to build the ceremony itself and define the preparations required of the Bat Mitzvah girl and her family.
We connect to intention and essence, clarifying your vision for your daughter’s Bat Mitzvah—both in terms of the process she will undergo and the ceremony itself. Everyone will be heard, especially the girl, so we can understand what process is most right for all involved.
You will receive reflection questions in advance. It is recommended not to discuss them beforehand, but to come with individual visions, which we will weave together in the meeting. You will leave with clear intentions and tasks.
Session 2 – One-on-One (approx. 1.5 hours)
A personal mentoring session with the girl, held several weeks after the first meeting, once she has begun working on her assignments. This is an open conversation allowing her to share successes and challenges, and together we clarify her next steps.
Session 3 – Women’s Circle (approx. 3 hours)
A facilitated women’s circle in preparation for the ceremony.
Each girl’s maturation is shaped by the women she sees around her. In this session we gather her “tribe”—the women who influence her life. This may include only family members or also friends of hers and/or yours.
Each woman is asked to bring a gift—physical or symbolic—that she wishes to give the Bat Mitzvah girl. We leave the circle with a sense of unity: a women’s tribe accompanying a girl into womanhood, wrapped in the holding embrace of women who came before her.
Session 4 – Bat Mitzvah Ceremony (approx. 3 hours)
Mazal Tov! Whether you choose a large celebration or an intimate gathering at home—whatever feels right for your family—we celebrate your daughter’s Bat Mitzvah together.
The ceremony will reflect the vision we built together and will allow all guests to participate in this meaningful moment in her life.
Tracks & Pricing
Family Women’s Circle or Friends Circle
One meeting at your home (approx. 3 hours): 3,800 NISFamily Process
4 sessions (2 meetings, women’s circle, ceremony): 8,700 NISCore Process
A condensed version of the family process, including two sessions:
First meeting (approx. 3 hours): meeting parents + personal work with the girl
Second meeting: ceremony facilitation
4,900 NISGroup Process
Four group sessions (3 hours each): 1,270 NIS per girl
Minimum 7 participantsFamilies in the group process may add a personal ceremony for 4,800 NIS (includes a vision meeting).
Prices do not include travel.
What Is the Origin of the Bat Mitzvah Ceremony?
The Bat Mitzvah is not the original initiation ritual for adolescent girls in Hebrew culture. It appears that the original ritual was lost over generations during which women’s roles in Judaism diminished—particularly alongside the rise of male rabbinic authority.
In 19th-century Europe, rabbis in progressive Jewish movements began holding Bat Mitzvah ceremonies for girls. Limited historical evidence suggests these ceremonies sometimes included the Shehecheyanu blessing and a festive meal for a group of girls celebrating together.
In 1922, Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, founder of the Reconstructionist movement, called his daughter Judith to the Torah in a New York synagogue. This is considered the first public Bat Mitzvah ceremony and was essentially an attempt to adapt the Bar Mitzvah ritual for girls.
About Naomi
I am an educator working with adolescents and adults to develop connection to the inner voice and to redefine the place of women in culture.
For the past 20 years I have accompanied girls through adolescence, integrating my experience in education with my deep familiarity with the ancient wisdom of Earth-based women’s traditions, which serve as a profound source of inspiration for me.
“Naomi brings rich experience, deep knowledge, and a broad, thoughtful worldview regarding adolescent girls, parenting, and developmental processes in a cultural and social context.”
— Asnat Lev Ari, mother of two
“I learned what it means to be a woman and gained many things that will help me in the future and throughout my life.”
— Yael, age 13
“Naomi didn’t claim to have ‘the answers,’ but she exposed us to insights we hadn’t encountered before and invited us to think about things many of us had never considered.”
— Shirley Viscarlo, mother of two
You’re invited to schedule a free vision call.
Contact us
If you’re interested, let’s talk about the details of how it happens! I can’t wait to meet you.
What People Are Saying
Miriam created a personalized and spiritual experience for our family capturing an important and special moment in our daughter’s life. Our daughter’s baby naming was inclusive and intimate. Everyone felt the love and warmth in the room and felt touched by this special experience. Miriam connected with our family on a meaningful level. She was calm and easy going, organized and fluid. I would absolutely recommend Miriam to others!
— Gaby L. Westchester NY
"I'm so blown away by how sweet and spiritual your energy is, and I really want to thank you for helping me with all of this. It truly means so much to me"
— Lola, 12 years old
R’ Miriam was a dream come true for us. I didn’t know how meaningful and soulful this process could be. We could not be happier with how beautiful the Bat Mitzvah ceremony for our daughter turned out. It was a true labor of love that we will remember forever with gratitude.